Author: sleepy

Some imagery keep popping back.

I hope you live forever.

Today is a great day.

After much rest, after all the tearing, after you finally understand that you can’t turn the clock around, today is exceptionally calm and beautiful.

We are busy getting his favorite food. We talk about him and not cry. I told him “Good morning!” when I’m awake. I cleaned him a few times today. At least I dare to look at his pictures again.

Maybe everyone has move on. Probably we should…

These 2 days have been very surreal, shocking, sad and difficult to my family.

Pipi vomitted and hasn’t been eating much these 3 days, thus no stools too. So we decided to bring him for a checkup. We actually realise that his mouth and tongue ain’t coordinating so well a few months ago. But never expect the condition to be so severe.

Pipi goes through an xray and says that his jaws are severely broken, that’s why he can’t eat and his weight drop. Due to his old age, he may not survive through the surgery. So left with the other solution, to put him to sleep. We couldn’t bear at that moment, plus not everyone is around, we decided to bring him home for a night. A referral letter is given to another specialist should we decide to go for surgery.

It is a very tough situation to make. I seriously can’t let him go but I know he is not doing very well. That night is a struggle as we prepared for the worst.

Next morning, Pipi actually vomitted again before consultation. Specialist said his wound has been too long and there is no bone structure he can work on for the surgery. That is the most devastating moment. Don’t really want to go into details, but the jabs ended his journey with us very quickly and peaceful.

He stayed in the fridge for a night and schedule to inceminate 9am today. We see him and touched the cold body for the very last time. Ashes followed us home.

We actually miss him very much. It’s like a missing kid at home. I regret that we send him in so late, I regret I din give him food the other night, I din noe he didn’t eat. So many regrets but there is nothing I can do. It is especially hard for me because I have the whole world time but Pipi can’t wait for me.

Dajie hopes that you will be a good boy in other place. Hope you don’t have pain or worries, meet new friends, eat all the food that you can’t eat. U can come back and visit us. I’ve already keep the sofa very clean for you. Anytime you want, you can “One! Two! Three! Up!” Dajie really miss you.